If a person's life is determined by the choices he/she made, I must have made a lot of wrong choices. Or that somehow, choices/chances appeared all at the wrong timing, either I'm not prepared/ready or I'm not fated.

How 'think carefully' can one 'think carefully' get? I thought I was certain about things but end up, it can get rather blur & confusing. I thought I would like what I'd chosen but it may prove to be a wrong move and I end up getting sian or pissed with it. -.- how contradicting can one get?

In continuation with my previous entry on my life/job crisis, I went to another interview and I was intended for hire. I thought I was happy about finally having the opportunity to go to a big ocean for more exposure but it had caused me great distress.

Long story short, the current co. adjusted my 'confirmed salary' a little higher and I decided to take it on considering that I have more or less settled here and by hanging it till end of the year, I'd get a company trip + some sort of bonus. So, I thought since I'd be receiving the same amt in that company I might as well stay on for a little more benefit.

In that company, I'd have to be doing sales/client servicing a lot more than what I'm doing now too. So I rejected that company 'due to personal reasons'. Then I have to risk being 'blacklisted' by them should I one day leave my present company. -.-

And then just when I had decided to continue with with my present company for a while, a previous application from a govt sector 却找上我.

It was a call from the Media Dept asking for my availability for the interview. Told her I am currently still employed, would need to apply leave for this. But she was saying, "Later the HR will call you and arrange another day with you." I'm like, "Does that mean I need to apply leave for 2 days for this interview?"

Then she asked if I know Google Sketchup because "it will help them determine if I'm a suitable candidate" I told her I don't know about this software. My strength is Adobe softwares. Then she said "If you know 3D max then this shouldn't be too hard for you. There are tutorials you can follow."

What's this? So I'm supposed to know this software for the job is it? Then lao niang don't have time to pick up/learn in time for this interview, what to show you? If you need someone who already know this, then why was I chosen to attend this interview?

Later, I'd gotten a call from HR who informed me about the procedure about this FORMAL OFFICIAL Interview. The one with Media dept would just be an informal one. Then she gave me a timing, bu san bu si 1.45pm.

So which leave am I suppose to take? Morning 930-130 or afternoon 230-630? If I take morning then I wont be able to make it on time for it. If I take afternoon then I will reach office late. But cos it's govt sector, there was no room for negotiation. I LL.

Unfortunately, my leave for that day wasn't granted as it was Hari Raya week and 2 out of 4 designers are Muslim and if I am away too, that 1 designer left wouldn't be able to handle the workload.

Fated. I had already expected and going through all the trouble for this GOVT sect interview makes me duper sian.

So I inform the HR that I wouldn't be able to attend. She still come and say, "Are you really sure about this? It means you would be missing your chance for this interview."But my leave is really not granted, there was really no way for me to attend!

So I thought everything was settled, I could get on with my usual boring/uninteresting job as a graphic designer. But I received a call again from the HR lady asking me if I could make it again. She specifically said, "We have decided to arrange another interview session for you. Hopefully you are able to make it this time."

Ok lor, say until like that, of cos I have to go, isn't it? -.- So ok, go and have a look at myself how going through interview for govt sector is like.

Then I'd gotten a call from the Media Dept lady again saying the informal interview has to be an hour before the formal interview. In the end, the HR email me and said the official timing for the formal interview is 8.45am. Meaning the informal interview is 7.45am is it? Are you sure people start work so damn early?

Ok i am assuming everything will be done around 10ish so I could go to work straight, just need to inform my boss that I will be an hour or two late. Don't even need to waste my leave for this also...

I know this isn't the right attitude for any interview at all. So I wont bear too much hopes for it either

I have managed this before, managing my life is a struggle. Managing my weight is a even more difficult task than managing my life..... the scales still doesn't give me a good number cos I haven't been running consistently again with the raiiiiinnnnnn..... and I haven't been eating properly as well.

ZDSFGP!!!!!!!!!!!

 that's zhen de shi fang gou pi~