I stumbled onto this website: http://kenshinjeff.18jan.us/2010/01/23/30-and-single-something-is-wrong-with-you/ (I have difficulty linking and gave up, otherwise u can just click and load) and found the analogy true and decided to share. I'd highlight those I find exceptionally right & meaningful & "hit-the-spot", but that's just my view.
IF YOU’RE 30, AND SINGLE, THERE’S SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU

Contraire to the popular belief, that’s wrong. There’s probably nothing more wrong (or right) about you as compared to someone 10 years younger than you. In fact, someone younger than you may have more ridiculous issues that make them less desirable (ie, how should I part my hair this morning, what clothes should I wear to look cool, etc etc.)

There are, of course, exceptions to everything, including this myth:

  • It is by your choice you are single (ie, you are smothering hot, or enjoy swinging too much to take relationships seriously, or you have the I hate wo+men because they are evil syndrome)
  • You think you have a choice because you are single. This includes the delusional group of people who think they are in the category above.
  • You haven’t found the “right” one. Do note here that the “right” one, may not always be the “available” one, in which, that’s wrong, regardless of the scenario. Or, you’re waiting for the “wrong” one to become the “right” one, or, you’re waiting for the “right” one to popup magically.
(There are some more points which I can bring to illustrate, but my lawyers tell me there is a limit to the number of people I can piss off on a daily basis, I believe it has something to do with the nonexistent payslip that I keep promising to send them. But come on, that’s what you send nonexistent lawyers isn’t it?)

At this point, you _may_ or _may not_ have realised this, but you will find that the chances for finding mr/mrs “right” magically INCREASES when you hit 30. To be really scientific about this (Not that I really employ any scientific mumbojumbo to any actual facts, but it always makes me look smarter, and more credible whenever) I pull up a random statistic, like the fact that I usually do this 34% of the time.

Again, to be really honest about it, it’s not easier per se. The age of 30 is more or less the socially accepted age to get married in Singapore, which means, whether you realise it or not, you are subconsciously trying harder, or using wider search conditions to find mr/mrs “right”. Nothing magically appears out of nowhere just because you wish for it, except for real magic, but you still have to pay alot for being tricked, which brings us to the main point of this article:

If you want/need to be in a relationship, for goodness sake, please do something about it. Don’t wait until you are 30 to decide! You will have much less choices! It’s obvious, JUST LOOK AROUND, ALL THE GOOD STUFF ARE BEING TAKEN UP! THIS IS WAR! Get into a relationship before you reach 30!

For some reason, people don’t seem to relate finding a job with being in a relationship; it’s quite similar if you asked me.

  • If you don’t need a job, fine. Don’t rant about it, it irritates people. ALOT. Seriously!
  • People will only offer you a real job, if they think the job suits you, so, be grateful and don’t brush it off yet.
  • If you are not well paid enough, ask for a raise, get better qualifications, improve yourself, use sex as leverage, whatever.
  • If you are not happy, and you have most definitely tried everything within your power, change the job.
  • By the time you are 30, you should have enough experience to know exactly what you want, how to get it, whether it is within your reach, what to ask for with regards to your ability, and most importantly, what to expect.
  • If enjoy perpetually job hopping, good for you!
  • Repeat after me: ANYTHING ELSE IS A BONUS. You know what a bonus is? Don’t bluff! ALL SINGAPOREANS LOVE BONUSES.
** That being said, some people are more easily content than others and they are always happy, or it is just the way they are that makes them who they are, and sometimes, all it takes is one job, it is really simple : )

By the way, talking about it is NOT doing something about it; anyway, whoever gave you the idea that talking about the lack of a partner will get you one? It is a freaking turn off! Complaining doesn’t work, trust me. Cos at the rate I was going I should have like 20 of them. At the end of the day, it is your own happiness and your future that you set out to create. Do you _really_ think that everyone has got nothing better to do than snigger behind your back when they find out you met your spouse in SDU? Nowadays SDU is like a sales event, the earlier you get in the queue, the more choices you have, and the more likely you’ll find “the one”. It is really just statistical, the more attempts you have, the better your score.

Bonus paragraph for the women out there (only because I love you girls): *preps loudspeaker* A wakeup call for you sleepers, this is the 21st century, women are enjoying sex (or at least pretending to be) as much as men. If you are the quiet type and you are waiting to for _that_ guy to make the first move, chances are if you like the guy, some other less deserving vulture will too. I’m not saying that women should always make the first move, or first strike = sure win, but if you asked me, I’ld rather go down in flames than lose without a fight, after all, that _could_ be your future you’re staking here. If you think your future is not important, please drop me an email, I will scold some sense into you.

For the guys: *HELLO* what’s _your_ excuse for not being in a relationship? REAL MEN DON’T TAKE BREAKS, REAL MEN MOVE FORWARD, REAL MEN ARE SHAMELESS, REAL MEN ARE FUN, and REAL MEN WILL FIND THOSE REAL WOMEN OUT THERE AND MAKE THEM HAPPY. *super lol* But it’s true, isn’t it?

At this point I may like to point this out the people who think like this:

  • All men are jerks
  • All men want sex
  • All men want more women
  • All women are bitches
  • All women are materialistic
  • I will end up being hurt or hurting someone in a relationship
  • People who think all of the above is true
You know what? It’s true, it’s all true. You have to accept that anyone, including yourself has ever played a role in one of the above. Personally, if you can’t accept that, how do you expect other people to accept your own faults? A relationship is NOT magical, there is NO happily ever after, there is NOTHING that works just out of the box. You have to WORK for your relationship to WORK. It is probably not clear enough because some of you folks just watch too much tv drama, some you have never been in a working relationship, and some of you practically live in Disneyland. You have GOT to be some kind of naive to actually think that everyone’s a mind reader, and everything will work your way. *please let me win toto this year I only need one win* RIGHT.

ALL RELATIONSHIPS ARE MAGICAL, YOU JUST NEED TO WORK FOR IT.

Legend:
  • Pink for agreed
  • Red for extremely agreed.

Brief background of author:
  • 30/m
  • recently proposed to his a-lot-younger-gf who agreed.
  • they'd only been together for 6 months. (not judging cos I had a friend who recently got married after the bf proposed their 6th months)

Digression (of my own interpretation based on his theory):

1. He's stating a fact, depends on how you see it to be a 'cold harsh fact' or a 'correct-leh fact'.

2. He's stating a possibly that MIGHT or MIGHT NOT happen, so it's actually 50-50. Not entirely true or untrue.

3. He advised those who wants to be in love, got to do something to get into that situation before it's too late.

4. It seems as though that by putting effort into making a relationship work = magical stuff will (or might?) happen between 2 individual.

My conclusion with regards to the random facts above:

It doesn't mean that you work hard for the relationship to work, it will work. So the MAGICAL PART doesn't necessarily mean 'work hard and get results' cos you can't measure the 'hardships of working' to what you would receive in the end.

Statistically speaking, the more attempts, the better you will score seems right. But... the ratio of wins VS loss will accumulate. And the more losses there is, your heart grows weaker every time. The scores I'm talking about here doesn't mean 'how many girls/boys u hook up with', but more like the attempt of adding sparks into a relationship as it progress on. And the game goes on until either party decides to end it.

At the end of it, everyone's already worn out trying to make a living by having a day job day to day, some jobs even includes meeting CBs & LJs. But after that, you still have a 'relationship' (or 'family' for married folks) to work. Wah.. worst is if BOTH your job and your relationship doesn't work and u still ngeh ngeh wanna play MAGICIAN.... 会不会太勉强了？


那位作者所提出来的，我没有赞同或不赞同。
但是这一切都是有 ‘前提‘ 的。
算来算去，爱情（或工作）不就是一场赌局？


那就是包输。





你到处想找适合的，可是又怕自己会吃亏。
你豁出去了，可是并不代表对方有同感。
你以为自己得到了，可是却发现是强颜欢笑换来的。
你想放弃，却又缺乏勇气。
真得放弃了，却又舍不得。
继续走下去，你又会想这一切值不值得。

最后，大家都是输家。



Just like a lyrics from ABBA's song,
"The winner takes it all, the loser has to fall. It's simple and it's plain. Why should I complain?"

Of course, in the gamble of relationships, there are also winners. Everyone loves being a winner, isn't it? But how long can you be a winner before being swiped off the reign. 5 years? 10 years?

What's the key to being magically blessed with happiness for so long you may ask, if you ever find these people who are 'winners' for more than 10 years?

不就是装聋，装瞎，装不知道.


另外一个功夫就是：忍
忍痛，忍自尊，忍脾气，忍眼泪，忍委屈.

到头来，原来谈恋爱 has got EVERYTHING to lose.
But people still 谈恋爱，结婚生子，传宗接代。


If anyone think otherwise with my conclusion/theory, please come and enlighten me and talk sense into me, so that I will be inspired again, my faith in love & relationships will regain to where I was 5-6 years ago again... please.