Not A Good Snake Year for Piggies
Marriage
I must admit, it hasn't been a smooth sailing month but I guess when things happen, you just gotta let go and go with the flow.
There were a few MIL woes to be honest but the moment I tell myself to let go and just focus more on my man, things will slowly get better and I was right. Wasn't easy to do it at first but aiya forget it, I do have other better things to do than to get mad or pissed off over 'domestic issues'.
There are still things to get slowly get used to but I shouldn't rush myself. It has only been A MONTH. Not like I'm dying to win some "Daughter-in-law Of The Year Award" or anything.
Other than now having to DO MORE to get along with inlaws and everyone related, our lifestyles remain pretty much the same as before marriage since we're STILL living apart and only having to meet during weekends. I used to be bothered about staying apart but I don't see it as a bad thing, we can still continue to see our parents & family for as long as we like. I'm not sure how long we will still be living apart but I'm guess it's till when 大哥大嫂 moved back to their place which may be next year's matter which is fine, when I move in next year, we could work towards a Horse Baby then :)
I have finally gotten ALL the pics taken on the actual wedding day from my photographer. They are really well-taken. Just that it would have been better if I had more family pics or pics of my family members. But everyone was crazily busy and the focus of the photographers tend to be the wedding couple themselves. Will take time to organise it & edit it before I post/share here. And aiya... all the overseas photos taken with Dearie in New Zealand & Korea also haven't organise! ><
I have finally gotten ALL the pics taken on the actual wedding day from my photographer. They are really well-taken. Just that it would have been better if I had more family pics or pics of my family members. But everyone was crazily busy and the focus of the photographers tend to be the wedding couple themselves. Will take time to organise it & edit it before I post/share here. And aiya... all the overseas photos taken with Dearie in New Zealand & Korea also haven't organise! ><
Chinese New Year 2013
Starting from this year onwards, I will be spending CNY with inlaws in JB.
According to MIL, in her own words, "You family is here near near only, you can see them after 2nd or 3rd day, my family is far in JB and I only get to see them once a year during CNY. Sometimes ZY's wife (Dasao) also don't even get to go back to visit her family during CNY."
意思浅浅，不用再多说. Just sian ttm.
Relatives that I ONLY get to see CNY, I probably won't ever get to see them again. I mean... Typically the ALL-GET-TOGETHER usually happen during the first day where all the relatives would gather because of the grandparents. Then thereafter, you don't really get to see your aunts/uncles/cousins/nephews after the first day. Maybe some closer ones will still get together during the upcoming weekend of the CNY period but by then, the feeling of CNY already over and it feels like of 'late' or 'belated'.
Sometimes I see couples facing the woes of going back which family to have reunion dinners/lunch/get-together. Generally, I see the trend on CNY Eve as daughters going back to own family for LUNCH then have DINNER with husband's family at night. Same as with CNY Day 1, usually is with husband's family during the MORNING first, then afternoon get to visit own family's relatives in the AFTERNOON and any other extended house visiting may resume on Day 2.
Well, I won't even get to do those things ever. This year's CNY Day 1 falls on Sun. So we get Day 3 off. My 3 whole public holidays were spent in JB doing nothing but eat & sleep, surf wifi, do nothing, eat, get bitten by mosquitoes, talk shit, Whatsapping my sisters and asked how their CNY went...
Ok, there were some nice moments. The moment we reached JB at 1145pm on CNY eve, we can hear fireworks & fire crackers given off throughout the entire journey. I was quite amazed by the sight & sound cos, well, you can't do those in SG. Dearie told me that was how his past 30 years was like, his childhood was spent in this kind of environment during every CNY.
It was also my first time writing my wishes on 孔明灯, lighting it up and letting it fly. I'd never done this before! So it was an interesting first time for me :) I certainly do hope both of my wishes come true! You can say those are my life-long resolutions :)
Although I was mainly consumed by boredom but I have to say Ah Xiang's aunts & uncles were nice ppl. His wai po doted him a lot. His cousins look up towards him as well. He was a well-liked person in his family. Something which I observed and realised. While I was a bit sian with MIL's presence but I try to not let it bother me and tried to enjoy my time with my husband as much as possible.
While we were on our way back to SG, we were also stuck in a 4-hour jam at Woodlands Checkpoint. Have to hold pee for so.damn.fucking.long! Driving conditions on JB and towards Woodlands sucks, almost had a brawl with fuckers who tried to cut in... what a fantastic CNY with different kind of experience! =\
According to MIL, in her own words, "You family is here near near only, you can see them after 2nd or 3rd day, my family is far in JB and I only get to see them once a year during CNY. Sometimes ZY's wife (Dasao) also don't even get to go back to visit her family during CNY."
意思浅浅，不用再多说. Just sian ttm.
Relatives that I ONLY get to see CNY, I probably won't ever get to see them again. I mean... Typically the ALL-GET-TOGETHER usually happen during the first day where all the relatives would gather because of the grandparents. Then thereafter, you don't really get to see your aunts/uncles/cousins/nephews after the first day. Maybe some closer ones will still get together during the upcoming weekend of the CNY period but by then, the feeling of CNY already over and it feels like of 'late' or 'belated'.
Sometimes I see couples facing the woes of going back which family to have reunion dinners/lunch/get-together. Generally, I see the trend on CNY Eve as daughters going back to own family for LUNCH then have DINNER with husband's family at night. Same as with CNY Day 1, usually is with husband's family during the MORNING first, then afternoon get to visit own family's relatives in the AFTERNOON and any other extended house visiting may resume on Day 2.
Well, I won't even get to do those things ever. This year's CNY Day 1 falls on Sun. So we get Day 3 off. My 3 whole public holidays were spent in JB doing nothing but eat & sleep, surf wifi, do nothing, eat, get bitten by mosquitoes, talk shit, Whatsapping my sisters and asked how their CNY went...
Ok, there were some nice moments. The moment we reached JB at 1145pm on CNY eve, we can hear fireworks & fire crackers given off throughout the entire journey. I was quite amazed by the sight & sound cos, well, you can't do those in SG. Dearie told me that was how his past 30 years was like, his childhood was spent in this kind of environment during every CNY.
It was also my first time writing my wishes on 孔明灯, lighting it up and letting it fly. I'd never done this before! So it was an interesting first time for me :) I certainly do hope both of my wishes come true! You can say those are my life-long resolutions :)
Although I was mainly consumed by boredom but I have to say Ah Xiang's aunts & uncles were nice ppl. His wai po doted him a lot. His cousins look up towards him as well. He was a well-liked person in his family. Something which I observed and realised. While I was a bit sian with MIL's presence but I try to not let it bother me and tried to enjoy my time with my husband as much as possible.
While we were on our way back to SG, we were also stuck in a 4-hour jam at Woodlands Checkpoint. Have to hold pee for so.damn.fucking.long! Driving conditions on JB and towards Woodlands sucks, almost had a brawl with fuckers who tried to cut in... what a fantastic CNY with different kind of experience! =\
Death
On the first day of CNY this year, my Ah Ma passed away at the age of 101 years old.
Sorry for posting this if u deem this to be unlucky for your eyes, just skip/scroll it over like you probably would skip the obituaries in newspapers if anyone is still reading hardcopy newspapers. I'm just putting it up here as a reference for me to remember the names of my huge pool of relatives that I hardly get to see or speak with. I'm 内孙女 and Ah Xiang's name's up there too.
I got the sms from Ah Neng who told me that after the first day of CNY visit was done and they were on their way to NUS to see Ah Ma (who was hospitalised a week earlier). They were already at the hospital's carpark and entering the lift when Papa received the call from hospital that Ah Ma had taken her last breath. They were just five minutes late.
Funny how when I gotten Ah Neng's sms, I didn't exactly felt 感伤. But as I'm typing this now, 鼻子却酸酸的. Mama told her to tell me not to inform my inlaws as we are still newly weds and it's CNY period even and they wouldn't be happy with this news. Mama also sms me telling me she will discuss with Papa and the rest of the relatives whether I have to attend the funeral as they know MIL, being the most pantang person in this universe, would believe this is an unlucky event instead of taking as an unfortunate event. 刚刚结婚取回来的媳妇那一边办丧事 etc etc and who knows if anything happen on their family will come & blame me.
Initially, Mama advise me to stay at Xiang's place till the end of funeral but I have to return to work and I already brought 4 days worth of clothes for JB and my work bag's at home. I still have to go home anyway. So I went home anyway without Xiang and out of duty as a grand-daughter, I still went ahead to pay respects for my Ah Ma.
However, that night, Papa suddenly demanded Xiang to come over... I'm like it's 12am+, we had a long day stuck at the jam and it's late, we've got work tomorrow. He insisted my inlaws have to know and insisted Xiang, as a 孙女婿 have to turn up for the ritual + funeral etc. I told him MIL will surely go & 问神. As expected, MIL didn't allow him to come. Why am I not surprised? I also heard I'm not allowed to enter his place after CNY period ends. Dafug???
I know my Papa will think MIL's reasons are ridiculous and I don't want to tell my dad that MIL doesn't allow her son to come. He mentioned that MIL should know & understand about 人情世故 and since we're married, Xiang is also considered part of our family already and how can he don't allow him to come just on the ground of we are newly wed + CNY and it's "not good for him & his family members". I also seriously think it's quite WTF.
Although my dad didn't mention this but I did told Xiang, "Imagine if the tables are turned, your wai po passed away and my parents do not allow me to be present just because we are newly wed and it's CNY, you tell me if you mom will flip or not if I don't go? 刚刚取回来的媳妇就已经这么不敬孝道了etc I don't want my dad to think of you as someone like that also." I think it spurred him and he told his mother, who will be seeking ANOTHER shifu's advice. Seriously zzzzzzzz....
I am glad that he eventually managed to find a way to get his mom to let him come. I appreciated this effort from him so much because, he usually will just listen to his mom but this is a death that we are talking about, if he/his family can heck care this 小事, I can't imagine what, then is 大事 considered. So, whatever we both need to do to 化解丧失 after that can wait as my Papa expected him to be present as other grandchildren's spouse were around as well.
It's funny that I got to know his relative better during CNY in JB & vice versa, he has gotten to know my relatives better & vice versa during, well, my Ah Ma's wake/funeral.
This was my first time being involved in a funeral and staying up all night to 守夜 to watch the incense, to make sure it doesn't get burnt out. Xiang also stayed up together with me, playing mj with my cousins till dawn. I really really appreciated it so much...
On the day of 出殡, it was raining heavily. We were all just wearing socks and walked on the wet roads as the pickup with neon lights moved ahead in the rain with our umbrellas. It was my first time to the Mandai Crematorium and witness the flow of how it's conducted. I saw some cousins with teary eyes & red noses. My parents & my sisters teared, it's at this point of time I wondered if I'm an unfeeling person...
We sent Ah Ma the last journey and watched at her coffin was being transported into the flames. Ok, we didn't see the flame but we only saw the coffin being transported to the 'burning room'. I heard cousins saying "Ah Ma bye bye." I saw my sisters waving at the coffin. A few of my female cousins were weeping and their kids also went teary-eyed with them. There was something stirring inside me but there were no tears.
To be honest, it was already a blessing that Ah Ma could live to an old ripe age of 101 years old. Although her remaining years, she could no longer recognise even her own kids. But at least when she was still well, she gets to see her great-grandchildren. I just hope Ah Ma have gone to a happier place where she'd reunite with Ah Gong. I hope Papa is contented that he still get to see/be with his mom at the age of 60. I don't even expect my parents to still be around when I'm 50 or something.
Along the way back home, a few elder cousins would say "阿麼过桥" whenever the bus passed a flyover. We had our last meal together as a whole big family before the funeral company had to tear down the setting...
Hope Ah Ma have truly rest in peace...
I got the sms from Ah Neng who told me that after the first day of CNY visit was done and they were on their way to NUS to see Ah Ma (who was hospitalised a week earlier). They were already at the hospital's carpark and entering the lift when Papa received the call from hospital that Ah Ma had taken her last breath. They were just five minutes late.
Funny how when I gotten Ah Neng's sms, I didn't exactly felt 感伤. But as I'm typing this now, 鼻子却酸酸的. Mama told her to tell me not to inform my inlaws as we are still newly weds and it's CNY period even and they wouldn't be happy with this news. Mama also sms me telling me she will discuss with Papa and the rest of the relatives whether I have to attend the funeral as they know MIL, being the most pantang person in this universe, would believe this is an unlucky event instead of taking as an unfortunate event. 刚刚结婚取回来的媳妇那一边办丧事 etc etc and who knows if anything happen on their family will come & blame me.
Initially, Mama advise me to stay at Xiang's place till the end of funeral but I have to return to work and I already brought 4 days worth of clothes for JB and my work bag's at home. I still have to go home anyway. So I went home anyway without Xiang and out of duty as a grand-daughter, I still went ahead to pay respects for my Ah Ma.
However, that night, Papa suddenly demanded Xiang to come over... I'm like it's 12am+, we had a long day stuck at the jam and it's late, we've got work tomorrow. He insisted my inlaws have to know and insisted Xiang, as a 孙女婿 have to turn up for the ritual + funeral etc. I told him MIL will surely go & 问神. As expected, MIL didn't allow him to come. Why am I not surprised? I also heard I'm not allowed to enter his place after CNY period ends. Dafug???
I know my Papa will think MIL's reasons are ridiculous and I don't want to tell my dad that MIL doesn't allow her son to come. He mentioned that MIL should know & understand about 人情世故 and since we're married, Xiang is also considered part of our family already and how can he don't allow him to come just on the ground of we are newly wed + CNY and it's "not good for him & his family members". I also seriously think it's quite WTF.
Although my dad didn't mention this but I did told Xiang, "Imagine if the tables are turned, your wai po passed away and my parents do not allow me to be present just because we are newly wed and it's CNY, you tell me if you mom will flip or not if I don't go? 刚刚取回来的媳妇就已经这么不敬孝道了etc I don't want my dad to think of you as someone like that also." I think it spurred him and he told his mother, who will be seeking ANOTHER shifu's advice. Seriously zzzzzzzz....
I am glad that he eventually managed to find a way to get his mom to let him come. I appreciated this effort from him so much because, he usually will just listen to his mom but this is a death that we are talking about, if he/his family can heck care this 小事, I can't imagine what, then is 大事 considered. So, whatever we both need to do to 化解丧失 after that can wait as my Papa expected him to be present as other grandchildren's spouse were around as well.
It's funny that I got to know his relative better during CNY in JB & vice versa, he has gotten to know my relatives better & vice versa during, well, my Ah Ma's wake/funeral.
This was my first time being involved in a funeral and staying up all night to 守夜 to watch the incense, to make sure it doesn't get burnt out. Xiang also stayed up together with me, playing mj with my cousins till dawn. I really really appreciated it so much...
On the day of 出殡, it was raining heavily. We were all just wearing socks and walked on the wet roads as the pickup with neon lights moved ahead in the rain with our umbrellas. It was my first time to the Mandai Crematorium and witness the flow of how it's conducted. I saw some cousins with teary eyes & red noses. My parents & my sisters teared, it's at this point of time I wondered if I'm an unfeeling person...
We sent Ah Ma the last journey and watched at her coffin was being transported into the flames. Ok, we didn't see the flame but we only saw the coffin being transported to the 'burning room'. I heard cousins saying "Ah Ma bye bye." I saw my sisters waving at the coffin. A few of my female cousins were weeping and their kids also went teary-eyed with them. There was something stirring inside me but there were no tears.
To be honest, it was already a blessing that Ah Ma could live to an old ripe age of 101 years old. Although her remaining years, she could no longer recognise even her own kids. But at least when she was still well, she gets to see her great-grandchildren. I just hope Ah Ma have gone to a happier place where she'd reunite with Ah Gong. I hope Papa is contented that he still get to see/be with his mom at the age of 60. I don't even expect my parents to still be around when I'm 50 or something.
Along the way back home, a few elder cousins would say "阿麼过桥" whenever the bus passed a flyover. We had our last meal together as a whole big family before the funeral company had to tear down the setting...
Hope Ah Ma have truly rest in peace...
0 Comments